The Elusive A#

I don't take too much stock in these things but john cusack is oh so cute.

Fri, 24 Nov 2006 20:56:48 GMT

Nothing's something. That's important to me.

Thu, 13 Apr 2006 05:11:33 GMT

I feel obligated. I'm sitting here watching the autosave click up and up and up. My roommate is singing Lion King songs and shuffling hair brushes and homework. I don't think she even knows she's singing.

I bought a begonia today. And a pot. And fertilizer. and potting soil. I think this might have been vaguely irresponsible. Who knows where I'll be in six weeks. You can't take a begonia up a mountain. I thought about this as Cara and I carried everything however many miles it was back to campus. "Thank goodness I didn't buy an pea gravel." We got lost. I told Cara it was gangster gangster and rolled up my pant leg. It was nice to be in the sun, being asked to subscribe to Maxim magazine. The girls always win, the salesman told us.

Jim told me when I see him my senior year, he's going to pretend he got mean. I told him I would, in turn, pretend I had become nice. — The roommate escapes to the shower.

I would like to form a cocoon around my head.

Valentine's day is a day to feel good.

Thu, 23 Feb 2006 06:10:44 GMT

Guillermo and I are not talking again. Jeff wants to move to Iowa, but he won't wear a coat if it doesn't match his outfit. This was a bad idea when it was -19 outside. We shivered all the way through Noelle's EPS II lecture that we were not enrolled in. I like looking at his face in Java House when the light falls behind his hair. Maggie's mom said it is difficult to find a man with a good haircut.

I wrote two stories for the paper today and came to the startling realization that I am horrific. I was happy to write the obituary because it was simple news and only took half an hour. Then I was proud of my 10" that encompassed this woman's entire life. She died two weeks ago and we never even bothered to write anything. A long illness. What does that even mean? We all have a long illness — mine is called ridiculousness. I haven't played piano in weeks. I miss my family.

I drank a redbull. I've never done that before. Some people were giving out free samples in the newsroom. My editor said he never trusted people who gave out free drinks. I just took one. I asked for a sweater too, but they laughed at me. So did my other editor. I have three metro editors, a managing editor and an editor. wow.

de carne y hueso

Fri, 03 Feb 2006 18:56:24 GMT

Taking four creative writing classes has me perpetually grasping at poetic terms and phrases. I'm always trying to find things that are beautiful. The reality is, I think, that things are not beautiful (obviously) and we are not always supposed to write a lot of crap about how delicious the sunshine is.

I learned the same thing four times this week, once in journalistic reporting and writing, once in creative writing studio workshop, once in escritura creativa, and once in fiction writing. It must have been important. or something.

Pavan and I are going to Des Moines I think.

habia empezado a llover.
— Chalk chalk chalk — contra el pared.

Why am I the witness?

Mon, 16 Jan 2006 18:18:58 GMT

Do people know when the best part of their life is over. I'm afraid I'm going to wake up and discover that the happiest I could ever be has come and gone. Will it mean that it's the end and I'm alone?

Sat, 04 Jun 2005 03:13:07 GMT

"eyes on the road, dear. i'd love to be killed with you, but i don't want to die a virgin"

-guillermo

also:

"from now on i'm going to call you dear. not d-e-e-r but d-e-a-r, because you don't have antlers, at least, not last time i checked.

registration for iowa is in something like four days. or sooner. i don't really think about the time that i'm spending. i'm just trying to love june. because one day summer will be gone and i'll want it back. wrapped up in a sweater.

Esperanza

Thu, 12 May 2005 23:53:24 GMT

Spanish video. good. graduation. weird weird weird. that vitamen c song. can't wait until tomorrow. fridays are so good. last night was really fun. I feel like I should treat myself to dinner. so much work. i'm going to miss spanish class a thousand times more than any other class next year. I always think about thousand island dressing when I write out long numbers. And mrs. bramlett. crows neck. or some other camp. where they showed you how much water a hamburger wastes.

Sun, 08 May 2005 17:03:51 GMT

gross gross gross gross gross gross gross gross gross gross gross gross gross gross gross gordon.

"You, my dear, are starting to look like a man"

Mon, 02 May 2005 17:28:49 GMT

48 delightful hours of deluge and wind and jack johnson. it was really nice to finally feel like i got to spend a significant amount of time with people that are important to me. This weekend was delightful. There wasn't a second I felt was wasted, and that is what is so important to me right now, because I feel like I may never be able to come back. Selsdon wanted to shake my hand today and tell me it was nice knowing me. I told him if he was ever in Iowa to look me up. And that was strange. I am leaving something behind. Not what really matters, but I'd be stupid to think everything will be the same. I just hope everything that counts will.

"Memphis just isn't very pretty"
-me
"Well, it's a big city"
-Brandon
"But Chicago's pretty"
-me
"Well, Memphis is the ghetto..."
-Brandon

a miracle, or a natural disaster

Fri, 22 Apr 2005 18:12:27 GMT

I tried to write my last column for a long time today. But really, I don't know what I want to say. i had some vague idea about going out with a bang last august, but not a whole lot now.

this morning i took my mom to school at 5:40 so she could take girls to columbus for some women in engineering thing. when I got home i went back to sleep and an hour later ate ice cream and went to school with my hair wet. i decided to dry it under the hand dryer. a world dryer. it could dry the whole world! I used to wonder when i was a kid if we all turned on our air conditioning and left the doors open if we could cool of the planet. but then they made me take physical science. i don't actually remember learning anything, but i know some stuff now. today is better than the day before.

If no one is around you, say 'baby i love you.'

Thu, 21 Apr 2005 17:37:06 GMT

It's only a month until my graduation. I've been thinking about eighth grade a lot. how i used to listen to Destiny's Child and Vitamin C. how i 'dated' zach paul and how he used to write me love letters when i was in california how i wrote him a letter every day every single day i was gone because he said i couldn't possibly remember how that july i went to band camp and met new people and forgot all about zach paul called him from sierra's house and broke up with him. she held my hand. i only liked him because he had been a hot item. or something along those lines him driving up to the front of the school in his old white car and showing the whole world that i was old enough to date someone and i was going to date him and he liked me and not joanna and not jessica. we met five years ago next week. i think he lives in new england now. wears a yellow hat. things were so easy. i have this theory of relativity. for the past month it has been time for something bad.

but on my progress report and schedule it says, "Mrs. Angela Hughes"...not, "Mrs. Sandra Bullock"

Wed, 20 Apr 2005 18:16:39 GMT

I'm still waiting for the weatherall guy. he was supposed to be here an hour ago. oh well. Jake told me I was exempt from the editor's meeting today because I'm a senior. pretty soon Xi and Ryan and I are going to be making pretty paintings.

as it turns out the deadline for creative arts fair isn't that soon, so I may enter a picture. maybe. it depends on how silly i feel. I'm wearing my mom's clothes, and that makes me feel nice. time for class.

Tue, 19 Apr 2005 18:11:54 GMT

"and Bethany had a picture of her older sister and her new boyfriend on her binder, so I asked how she was doing and had some blurred thoughts run through my head, then got in trouble on the bus for making fun of a little kid"
-guillermo

Today jane gave me some pictures of prom, and I felt really happy, and i was glad that i felt a word that started with an h. h is such a neglected word. hut. harold. i like that name. Grumpy harold. sounds like a book yes?

"put some marks and underlines and circles, and she'll be like, Jake that's so great!"
-jane

Gake

Tue, 19 Apr 2005 01:48:44 GMT

I'm in one of those moods that i know is going to take at least 500 calories to cheer up.

i don't feel quite as angry as that face looks though.

i might go do some of that homework. yuck.

Syndey Sydney Gause

Mon, 18 Apr 2005 18:00:13 GMT

The band trip was really fun. really cold. really long time on the bus. 17 hours. I woke up a lot during the night, and there was always someone eating something. I was really full, and i brushed my teeth a lot. Dr. Irvin shared one of his brush ups with me. i thought it was really nice, and i calculated how much it would cost to rent him for 72 hours. something ridiculous, like 2,800 dollars. he told me if michael and i ever needed to rent him for three days he could give us a special deal. I laughed a lot. and then i found a historian named sean who showed me blood stains on uniforms and told me which confederate officer had affairs with such and such. he was an art major. got his job by starting out as a receptionist. I'm so glad to be home. sleeping laying down.

Moe's Magic Cup

Mon, 04 Apr 2005 03:14:06 GMT

"You're hotter than a solar flare"
-me

"I'm not, and I'm glad because then I wouldn't be able to go anywhere near you."
-guillermo

April is good

you could win: big house, free food, no trees

Mon, 04 Apr 2005 00:09:36 GMT

one day I will find the Stephen Speaks cd on amazon, buy it, and then I won't know what to do with myself. amazing. amrazing. prom is soon. so is mspa. another four day week. hooray for that. i don't want it to be summer, but i'm tired of work. i feel like i'm floating around waiting for something to happen. like i need to give birth to myself or something. It's annoying that restaurants close here on sundays because they can't serve alcohol.

1957

Wed, 30 Mar 2005 01:12:57 GMT

"I believe that unless we preserve absolute freedom of expression democracy will perish"
-Frank E. Gannett

the man who later started a multi billion dollar company that gobbles up small papers.

today was good. i walked my dog 2 miles and looked at the place where foster and i kissed. and i jumped on the ground, and it didn't fall in, and i smiled a little bit. i thought my face might crack. dry skin. dry wind. flowers. i wrote a "high school literary magazine" poem, and it made me laugh a lot. here it is. don't take me too seriously:

sleepyfilled eyes
splish-splashy
warm wet ground
sliced bananas, cotton candy
morningtime summertime grassytime
windy warm blowing back--
ward--
lingering in t-shirts

it's a riot eh?

it was the place where life happened, including their failures

Sun, 27 Mar 2005 19:13:24 GMT

Borrowed this from Xi. but appropriate today:

You cannot touch love. It is not a palpable object. “It doesn't matter,” you say. Well, why don't we discuss another impalpable object... Time. What does it say on your watch? Right now, mine says 1:42, but the clock on the wall says that it is 1:41 and my friend's cell phone states that it is indeed 1:45. So, which one is right? There is no answer. Love and time are “things" that humans have made up to make us feel more comfortable... It is nothing but hope. Nothing but hope that we would get to school on time, nothing but a hope that there is a state beyond happiness.

who believes in love? not me. not me. not me. not me.

if i leaped into a fountain would i resurface? I left nothing to be desired. i thought.

Barely, if at all

Sat, 26 Mar 2005 20:46:26 GMT

I thought about holding my breath until I passed out, but decided to breath instead. hardly, can we tell? I don't want to talk about it.

Soul Surfer: A true story of faith, family and fighting to get back on the board

Wed, 09 Mar 2005 01:50:05 GMT

I saw that boy I'm dating today. you know how it goes. pleasant. or whatever. people always seem amazed when I use pronouns a lot. like it's an insult. One day I'm going to write a subject for my live journal that's longer than the entry.

"Oh look! Hitch is here. I heard the last scene is the best. It's called 'Get in your car and leave'."
-guillermo

cumulonimbus

Tue, 08 Mar 2005 03:17:42 GMT

"If it were there long enough, and i were there long enough, and it were taunting me in such hideous manners, I probably would just to show it who's boss."

-guillermo on eating my chocolate.

"I like the face that goes with giddy."
-guillermo

"oh I especially don't"
-me

"it makes you look retarded."
-guillermo

Life of the English Chekhov

Mon, 07 Mar 2005 19:14:07 GMT

I started writing a poem today, about sitting in Tucson and watching that kid Amando disappear into his terminal with his long long braided hair. but i didn't mention his long long braided hair. I was just thinking about it while i wrote. his taper-legged jeans, how when he leaned over the Risk board he knocked all the pieces down with his hair and broke his bracelet. I helped him restring it. Derrick was busy being a dark lord and conquering the world. or at least speaking with a Portuguese accent. it makes the word arizona sound so pretty. if only i wasn't wandering around in the middle of the desert.

"you know, i was thinking. why does paper beat rock? you don't see any 'watch for falling paper signs' it just doesn't add up in my mind."
-guillermo

Mon, 28 Feb 2005 04:49:50 GMT

" ha! this isn't right"
-me

"I know, but the man in the picture sure does look like peter brady. or christopher knight"
-guillermo

(earlier)

"trrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgnb hjn56uhjy"
-my cat

"the whole "-trrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" made me think of a trill"
-guillermo

"well the hjn56uhjy made me think of race cars"
-me

"it made me think of hindu people,but whatever works"
-guillermo

" haha! you're so wonderful"
-me

"not as wonderful as yo. . . you. the ebonics got me again. it's like a disease"
-guillermo

(and then earlier)

"my sister can be pretty greedy"
-me

"but your sister is five. five year-olds are the greediest people around."
-mary frances

"them and CEOs"
-me

back to you

Sat, 26 Feb 2005 19:24:16 GMT

All the professors are outside blooming and gardening. my mother is making soup.

i feel like taking a nap, but my sister is hanging out with me. she wanted to try on my clothes. never mind that she's five.

last night we had a guard sleepover at Mrs. Morgans house. she made brownies and waffles and we watched movies and discussed surgery. it was all very comfortable. we all wore our glasses and looked through photo albums.

i like driving in the morning time.

You are

What Rejected Crayon Are You?